Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He better not be in your backpack
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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