I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
