is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
