i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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