Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
