tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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