sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
