I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
