the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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