I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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