the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
