my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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