Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
