Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
