I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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