remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
They are going to name an STD after you.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
