i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
