in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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