I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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