Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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