...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
