and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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