it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
