How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
