I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
