We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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