i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
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