I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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