tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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