have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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