it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize