New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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