So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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