Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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