The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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