Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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