omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No subtext here. People are naked.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
