i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
