it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
