we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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