So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
