peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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