This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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