What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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