I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
