Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
