just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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