i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
