I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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