the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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