if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
