Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That accounts for only three of the penises
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just gargled with NyQuil
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
