I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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