What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize